Parodies and Spoofs Fanfiction: Deadliest Warrior, Season X - 10. Urukhai Vs Dremora
AN: Please note that a Dremora is from Oblivion, they are a demon like race so now you know what they are. Uruk-hai is from Lord of the rings but I think we all know that… Anyway even though I put this up early, I still wanted to do this fight. If I win the bet great, if not, hey I already did this so it counts LOL.
Fierce Daedra Warriors, serving under Mehrunes Dagon.
Powerful orc warriors who serve the white hand of Saruman.
Who is deadliest?
Bren turned from his seat and got up.
“Two powerful warriors, its gonna be a tough fight” Bren said shaking his head and chuckling
The camera turned to Rommel who looked up from a table of weapons.
“I got to say after looking at the weapons, the Uruk-hai have the advantage” He said
“I don’t agree, the Dremora has the advantage” Russell said smirking
“Well we will see won’t we” Bren said
Both sides bring a deadly arsenal of weapons
For the Dremora there is
The Uruk-hai bring to the fight
To test the weapons for the Dremora they brought in Kathutet, a Dremora warrior who knows every aspect of Dremora combat.
For the Uruk-hai the team brought Lurtz, the leader of the Uruk-hai, a powerful warrior who is an expert of the brutal combat styles of the Uruk-hai.
For the first test, both sides will be testing their main weapons, the swords.
Inside the building in the middle of the floor, a large pig carcass was hung
“Alright you two, show me your weapons” Bren said and Kathutet held his claymore
“This is our claymore” He said in a dark raspy voice
“I see, and since its double sided it is able to be swung two ways and still do damage” Bren said looking it over
“Pitiful weapon, our weapons are more powerful” Lurtz said holding up his scimitar
“Wow is that a spike at the end?” Bren asked looking at the blade
“It is, able to puncture armor as well as cut” Lurtz said
“Right, well we have a couple of pig carcasses ready to be cut up, why don’t we see how much damage it can do” Bren said
Kathutet was first and he swung to the side cutting a big gash into the pig, spilling blood all over the floor
Russell took a look at the damage
“I don’t need to be a doctor to know that who ever gets hit by this is dead” He said, “Cut through the muscle, the ribs, and part of the spin, one more swing and it is total decapitation”
Lurtz went up next on a new pig
“When your ready” Bren said
Lurtz didn’t even say anything he swung to the side then brought the blade up and swung down, and for final measure sent the spiked end on the back of the blade right though the head. It was a gruesome sight to behold.
“Damn” Rommel said shaking his head
Russell looked over the damage
“Multiple slash wounds, a puncture wound through the skull, this guy is dead and the mourners are throwing up from the damage” Russell said
“Who gets the edge, the scimitar, it can be held with one hand, and it has the ability to puncture armor with the spike at the end” Rommel said
“So what else you got?” Bren asked
Lurtz held up his bladed shield, it was a basic shield in all respects except for two spikes at the bottom going down.
“This is the bladed shield, a weapon as well as a defense” Lurtz said
“Right we got a gel torso on the table why don’t you take a couple of swings at it” Bren said
“With pleasure” Lurtz said slamming the shield at the held then swinging it down to jam the spikes into the chest, he pulled out and fake blood poured out of the wounds
Russell took a look at the damage
“Punctured the lung, I would say the person would have a few minutes to live but knowing you wouldn’t let him have that luxury” Russell said
Kathutet held up his black mace
“Perhaps useful in defense but if I kill my foe then defense is useless” Kathutet said swinging down onto the head of his gel torso, the skull was crushed down and blood flowed out of the eyes
“No doubt about it, that man is dead” Rommel said and Bren nodded his head in agreement
“Both weapons are good, but between the two of them, the mace has more potential for damage, edge Dremora” Bren said
The next test with be medium range weapons
Everyone went outside to test the weapons and they had two gel torsos set up, one for each weapon
“Alright what are we gonna test?” Bren asked
Kathutet had his large hammer while Lurtz his pike
“Alright lets see what each can do, Kathutet you first” Bren said
Kathutet took a swing with the two handed weapon and it knocked the gel torso right off the stand but judging by the sounds of the bones cracking it was safe to say it was deadly hit
Russell took a look at the now reddening body
“Internal bleeding, broken bones…a heavy weapon and not a lot of reach true, but if it hits, then I feel sorry for who got hit” Russell said
Lurtz went next with his pike and he slammed it right into the gel torso’s ribs and it went out the other end
“Holy cow…” Bren said
“Ok now it’s obvious what happened” Russell said, “The target gets skewered and since it hit the heart it is instant death, but being a puncturing weapon it has to hit the right spot or it misses” Russell said
“I really can’t decide who gets the edge, both are good weapons, so I’m gonna call it a draw” Bren said
The final test will be with long range weapons
Lurtz held up his crossbow
“I prefer the bow and arrow but all basic troops are given a crossbow” Lurtz said
“I can see why, history knows that the crossbow is a powerful weapon” Rommel said
Kathutet held his bow and barbed arrows and glared at Lurtz, he said nothing
“Right we got a target about 15 feet away, three shots and I want you to aim for some vitals” Bren said
Lurtz was first and he fired one bolt and it hit the shoulder of the target dummy, he reloaded the crossbow, albeit using a lot of time and fired again hitting the chest, he then reloaded one more time and fired hitting the leg.
“Not bad, but it took you over five minutes to fire three shots” Bren said
Kathutet was next and he pulled the bow back and fired hitting the target in the chest, he cocked another arrow and fired it into the neck, one more arrow flew and it hit the belly of the target
“Not bad, 47 seconds” Bren said
They went over to the targets and pulled out the bolts of the first one
“Yikes, went in half way, and these are 7 inch bolts too” Russell said, “Easily kill shots if they hit a vital, takes a while to reload but if you get the first shot in then you won”
They went over to the other target and they had trouble pulling out the arrows
“They are barbed so they remain inside of the victim” Kathutet explained
“Makes sense, keep it in too long and the wound can get infected, plus pulling it out could cause even more damage” Russell said
“Between the two weapons, it’s got to go to the bow and arrow, its faster and the barbed arrows can cause a lot of damage” Bren said
Now Bren will impute all the data into a state of the art simulation program. And to make sure the battle isn’t won by a lucky blow, Bren will simulate the battle 1000 times to declare a winner
Who will win?
Those born from Earth
Shows a Uruk-hai being born out of the earth
Vs those born from Fire
Shows a Dremora in the hellish planes of Oblivion
Followers of Mehrunes Dagon
It shows an army of Dremora clad in armor in front of a shrine to the Daedric Prince.
Vs Followers of Saruman
It shows Saruman at the top of his tower looking down at an army of Uruk-hai
Weapons of steel
It shows the forging of a scimitar
Vs Weapons of darkness
It shows the Dremora weapons materializing into the soldier’s hands
“Its show time” Bren said hitting the final key on his laptop starting the simulation
The simulation opens up in a large meadow, judging from the nearby ruins this used to be the site of an outpost, now abandoned and ruined by time… A Dremora clad in his daedric armor scanned the area.
From the top of a nearby hill an Uruk-hai saw the Dremora, he pulled out his crossed bow and took aim and fired at the Dremora
The bolt flew but missed the Dremora causing him to turn in the direction it was fired. The Dremora saw the Uruk-hai reloading the crossbow and he pulled out his bow and arrow and took aim and fired.
The arrow missed but the Uruk-hai dropped the crossbow realizing he had no time to reload, instead holding up his pike and letting out a cry for battle.
The Dremora dropped the bow and pulled from his back his hammer, he was ready to face this challenge head on.
The Uruk-hai roared at the Dremora and charged at him with the pike.
The Dremora side stepped the Uruk-hai’s pike and swung his hammer down breaking the pole
The Uruk-hai snarled and drew his scimitar and shield and both warriors stared off.
The Dremora swung his hammer to the side but the Uruk-hai dodged the swing and slammed his shield into the Dremora’s chest knocking him to the ground and dropping the hammer
The Uruk-hai swung the scimitar down but the Dremora rolled away in time and ran up the stairs of a nearby ruined tower, most likely used for watching the landscape
The Uruk-hai followed in hot pursuit but was nearly smashed by the mace of a waiting Dremora at the top of the stairs.
The Uruk-hai kicked the Dremora back and forced him to drop the mace and going to his last weapon, his claymore.
Both sides circled the large circular tower top, daring each other to make a move when the Dremora swung the large blade first only to be blocked by the Uruk-hai’s shield. Taking this opportunity the Uruk-hai ran forward and swung the back end of his scimitar, jamming the spike into the Dremora’s side.
The Dremora cried out in pain and dropped the claymore and the Uruk-hai pulled the blade out and slammed the shield into the Dremora’s face knocking him down to the ground.
The last thing the Dremora saw was the scimitar being swung down at his face.
The Uruk-hai let out a roar of victory and cried out, “For the white hand”
“Out of 1000 battles, the Uruk-hai won 623 times against the Dremora’s 367 victories” Bren said
Bladed Shield: 126
Dremora Claymore: 173
Dremora Bow: 43
Dremora mace: 90
Dremora Hammer: 61
The Uruk-hai’s main weapon the Scimitar was the deciding factor of the victory having 329 kills with the Dremora’s best weapon being the claymore with only 173 kills
“No one shall stand against the Uruk-hai” Lurtz said smiling, it was a grim and demented smile but a smile nevertheless
“We are powerful, so we lost this battle, we are powerful and will not be stopped” Kathutet said grimly
It finally shows the Uruk-hai walking out of the tower pleased with his victory.
AN: I had to do this fight; also I’ve set up a forum for some Deadliest warrior aftermath so if you have opinions or anything, put up a thread and we can talk about it. Till next time see ya around.